Take a moment and reminisce about a few favorite memories that you wished could have lasted forever. Yeah they might have been wonderful then, but would life akin to the repetition of the movie Groundhog—no matter how delight it was, really be desirable in the long haul?
“Don’t be sad it’s over. Be glad that it happened.”
That was one of the most memorable things I recall JC Chasez, of NSYNC former fame, saying after one of their concerts. (Yeah, yeah yeah, I just made an NSYNC reference) As teenage hyped with adrenaline having just seen one of my favorite musical groups put on a beyond fantastic show, there was the moment when it was over, the second of pause where my whole body was filled with excitement and all I wanted was for it to happen again! And again, and again. If I could just press repeat or something. But you can’t.
The time will come when it’s over, and you’re remembering and wishing you could go back, and you feel slightly bummed out because of reality. I wrote it down when he said those words because they were so perfect, and they’ve remained how I’ve chosen to review all my favorite moments within my timeline of life. Glad for the “was” formerly known as “is”. It’s also how I try to look back at the crap times too.
Change is inevitable, everyday, every year, every moment in some capacity it occurs.
Growth is the only evidence of life. ~John Henry Newman, Apologia pro vita sua, 1864
While that is exciting, and true as that may be there are so many changes that terrify us, paralyze behavior, and we pick and choose where to unleash that internal resistance, to yield grip on something that is presently supplying comfort and seemingly safe. If it can wheel such concerns than is really good? Well many certainly beg to differ and they don’t welcome its attributes.
Peter Pan didn’t want to grow up. Some adult children never leave their parents house. The popularity in the notion of immortality, being young and beautiful forever, is not only played out in the fictional world of sexy vampires, but in the real world of plastic surgery. Pages on a diary come to and end at someone point but many of us act as though we can prevent it. Maybe if we memorialize it well enough time will stand still? But no. That can be a hated reality too. But why is change hated in the atmosphere of our life? Everyone has comfort zones, they are comfortable for a reason. Change is probably not as hated as much as it is feared. Change can take work, and it brings with it the risk of failure. And honestly, even when it’s allowed in, or breaks down the door, it still doesn’t guarantee goodness. Trial doesn’t always come with error, but it doesn’t always come without it either.
“Under the hate is fear of the unknown, fear of lack, and fear of the ‘other’. Which is where the saying “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t” comes from. All of which is usually expressed by trying to control… situations, people, the environment, etc.”
In essence, we are all afraid of the dark, metaphorically speaking.
There is a quote by Marianne Williamson, (that many feel is often incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela) where she says:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
It’s as if we don’t believe we deserve success. Or if we do, we define it incorrectly and are afraid of being failures that can’t obtain that ideal.
Sometimes this fear is shrouded in contentment, and it’s not perceived as a fear at all. ‘Why fix it if it isn’t broken?’ Fear of change is subtle. It operates in a convincing matter seemingly proving itself to be there to protect you and keep you safe. If all is well, why muck it up? With contentment you’d assume peace to derive, when more commonly it produces resistance, and movement, action, and progress is stopped or heavily and angrily opposed. It works along side anxiety, self-doubt and guilt. Now don’t get me wrong, anxiety in the hands of some can induce a spark of motivation, but what about when it doesn’t? Fear of change can, and does invite situations that worry us. Cause us concern over possible loss from change association; guilt from change will affect others who disagree.
I’m not proposing to have a solution to resolving this fear. It’s manifested in many ways. Whereas one may address a recognized fear in relationship changes, they may have no fear of workplace changes, and even still that same person could harbor a steadfast opposition to within technological advances or political progression. Claiming acceptance to change may not be a universal trait or action within a single own heart, mind, behavior and emotion; at least not over everything. So instead I’ll leave you with these quotes on the subject of something that happens naturally and/or intentionally, but either way we are all going to think about it.
Quotes on change from those who did plenty of thinking about it in an array of way. (for more information on them, click their names)
Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed. ~Irene Peter
Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them. ~Marcel Proust
If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator. ~Francis Bacon, “On Innovation,” Essays, 1597
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France
The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble. ~Henry Miller
If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change. If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry it’ll change. ~John A. Simone, Sr.
There is a certain relief in change, even though it is from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position, and be bruised in a new place. ~Washington Irving
Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. ~John Kenneth Galbraith
Life is its own journey, presupposes its own change and movement, and one tries to arrest them at one’s eternal peril. ~Laurens van der Post
Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow. ~Glen Beaman
Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. ~Faith Baldwin
The circumstances of the world are so variable that an irrevocable purpose or opinion is almost synonymous with a foolish one. ~William H. Seward
We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. ~Lynn Hall
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. ~Author unknown, commonly attributted to Charles Darwin
To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly. ~Henri Bergson
All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. ~Ellen Glasgow
If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown
The devil could change. He was once an angel and may be evolving still. ~Laurence J. Peter
It’s the unhappy people who most fear change. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
People don’t change. Only their costumes do. ~Gene Moore
If you want to truly understand something, try to change it. ~Kurt Lewin
Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine. ~Robert C. Gallagher
He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. ~Harold Wilson
The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. ~Ellen Glasgow
When you are through changing, you are through. ~Bruce Barton
(Title quote, “It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.” by W. Edwards Deming)
- 4 Mental Tricks to Conquer Fear (inc.com)
- What do you do with fear? (microbusinesssolutions.wordpress.com)
- Fear and Progressive Policy (balloon-juice.com)
- Got Thoughts? (fiercedivaguidetolife.typepad.com)